Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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