Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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