I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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