Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
