Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
