I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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