So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
