Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
