Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
