everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize