I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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