i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
