I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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