Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize