Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
why does every cop we meet know your name?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
