Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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