I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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