I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
