he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
