My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
