I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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