STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
