Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
