she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
