Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
