she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
