so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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