i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
