SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Randomize
