I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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