you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
