Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So squirting runs in the family.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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