You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
