This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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