Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize