Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
