i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
