Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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