Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
