you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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