at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
