I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
why is half of my head shaved?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
