My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize