you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
