I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
