What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize