I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I deserve this hangover.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
