JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
