ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize