it hurts more in the daytime
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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