I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
