i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
