he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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