once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
