just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
