dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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