At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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