Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize