I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
