This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
